An imperfect build
Growler is one of my favorite races - hard and technical. I always mark it on the calendar and have the best intentions with the training leading into to the race. Yet over the last few years, things seem to always derail the training. I find myself halfway through May, wondering yet again if I will be ready for the technical trails and intensity of the race. Last year it was my eye, forcing me off the bike for two weeks and then into the basement for all of April. This year? Never ending health issues again - starting with a nasty virus at the beginning of the year that cascaded into a light bout of pneumonia. I would get sick, start feeling better, start ramping up the training again and then wham. Sick again. Finally in the end of March, I was healthy and really able to start riding and running hard. All was good. I'd be able to bounce back and have plenty of time to get ready for Growler.
Or so we thought. Sometimes, the health of one person overwhelms all other concerns. Especially racing... End of April, both Nick and I are getting strong and fit. Then Nick had a morning of unending diarrhea, followed by intractable stomach pain. He was feeling better that night, so we really didn't think much of it. Just a stomach virus, most likely. The following day, I left early for work to do an orientation at St Frances. About an hour and a half into my day, I get a text from Nick that he was going to the ED since the stomach pain was so bad and he wasn't able to breath well. I knew something is wrong, very wrong and left to head back to Penrose. When I got there, he was just waiting for a CT scan. That was the longest wait of the entire day. Once the CT scan results were in, things started moving quickly. The ED doc ordered an NG tube inserted and said the surgeon would be review the results to decide further course of action. Well, the surgeon had already decided what he was going to do prior walking into the room. There was an OR waiting for Nick and it was urgent. That's what happens when there's a kink, a twist and a loss of blood supply to the small bowel....
To make a long story short, Nick was in the hospital with the for 8 days. He had the NG tube for 6 of those 8 days, along with all other kinds of things that come from being in the hospital. And while I've discussed with athletes the decisions that need to be made around a family member's medical issues, I never imagined just how stressful it really was. And the fact that I work in the hospital and see the end results of all the medical complications that could happen, made it even more stressful. I didn't handle things as well as I'd hoped and went home every day drained, exhausted and worried. Getting out and going for a long ride or even a workout was the furthest thing from my mind - what if something happened while I was in the woods, out of cellphone service? It's no wonder I showed up to the Cheyenne Mountain Trail Race completely unfocused and distracted.
Even after he was discharged in the beginning of May, I was struggling to find the motivation to get out. He was at work, able to do most things, but still. What if something happened? Add in the ankle from my failed attempt at the CMTR and some of the big, technical days I wanted before the Growler were completely nixed. I needed to stay close to home and stay on the easier trails or even the roads. There were several times I debated dropping down from the Full Growler on Sunday to the Half Growler on Saturday. After all, Nick wasn't racing. I wouldn't need to be out there to help him and he could support me for the half. But that felt like giving in to everything going on. I might not have had the best build into the race, but I was riding and I knew I could ride hard for the entire Full Growler. Everyone comes into a race with a story and nobody has the perfect training prior to a race. It's how you manage the unexpected events of life and the attitude that you bring to the line that matters.
Or so we thought. Sometimes, the health of one person overwhelms all other concerns. Especially racing... End of April, both Nick and I are getting strong and fit. Then Nick had a morning of unending diarrhea, followed by intractable stomach pain. He was feeling better that night, so we really didn't think much of it. Just a stomach virus, most likely. The following day, I left early for work to do an orientation at St Frances. About an hour and a half into my day, I get a text from Nick that he was going to the ED since the stomach pain was so bad and he wasn't able to breath well. I knew something is wrong, very wrong and left to head back to Penrose. When I got there, he was just waiting for a CT scan. That was the longest wait of the entire day. Once the CT scan results were in, things started moving quickly. The ED doc ordered an NG tube inserted and said the surgeon would be review the results to decide further course of action. Well, the surgeon had already decided what he was going to do prior walking into the room. There was an OR waiting for Nick and it was urgent. That's what happens when there's a kink, a twist and a loss of blood supply to the small bowel....
To make a long story short, Nick was in the hospital with the for 8 days. He had the NG tube for 6 of those 8 days, along with all other kinds of things that come from being in the hospital. And while I've discussed with athletes the decisions that need to be made around a family member's medical issues, I never imagined just how stressful it really was. And the fact that I work in the hospital and see the end results of all the medical complications that could happen, made it even more stressful. I didn't handle things as well as I'd hoped and went home every day drained, exhausted and worried. Getting out and going for a long ride or even a workout was the furthest thing from my mind - what if something happened while I was in the woods, out of cellphone service? It's no wonder I showed up to the Cheyenne Mountain Trail Race completely unfocused and distracted.
Even after he was discharged in the beginning of May, I was struggling to find the motivation to get out. He was at work, able to do most things, but still. What if something happened? Add in the ankle from my failed attempt at the CMTR and some of the big, technical days I wanted before the Growler were completely nixed. I needed to stay close to home and stay on the easier trails or even the roads. There were several times I debated dropping down from the Full Growler on Sunday to the Half Growler on Saturday. After all, Nick wasn't racing. I wouldn't need to be out there to help him and he could support me for the half. But that felt like giving in to everything going on. I might not have had the best build into the race, but I was riding and I knew I could ride hard for the entire Full Growler. Everyone comes into a race with a story and nobody has the perfect training prior to a race. It's how you manage the unexpected events of life and the attitude that you bring to the line that matters.
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