You tried so hard

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 And got so far…

But it wasn’t far enough. It seems like when I have a big dream, it always takes two tries to get it right. My FKT attempt to be the first person to thru-run the entire Tabeguache trail looks to be on the same trajectory. I had high hopes when I started my watch Thursday at 0400 that we would be able to work with the narrow weather window and reach the Lunch Loop trail head some time on Friday. Was I concerned about how fatigued I had been for the two weeks after the Grand Mesa 50? Absolutely. That race had taken a lot more out of me then I’d anticipated. I was hopeful that the recovery from after the race had pulled me back from the brink a little, but… There were signs that it hadn’t. Regardless, I was committed and felt that I was ready. There was only one way to find out and that was to start. 

Heading to Montrose on Wednesday was a quick shift in plans. Originally, Nick and I had every set up for Friday so that I would have a day to finish last minute packing and prep without feeling rushed. But looking at the weather, we both felt that it was either start Thursday or push back a week. The monsoon surges were coming close and hard  - there was a short break Thursday into Friday and then another one forecasted for Monday into Tuesday. After much discussion, we packed everything up when I got home from work on Wednesday. We would take the chance on starting early. Would I have done better had we waited the extra few days and made the attempt Monday? I don’t know. It’s too late to second guess that choice. Looking back, I can honestly say I may have gotten further starting Monday, but the cumulative stress between two hard 50s and the loss of my cat was more then I realized. Yes, saying goodby to Sasha wasn’t training stress, but that hit me much harder then I realized even a few months later. 

I will freely admit that the training between May and August wasn’t even close to what I wanted. I missed so many thing that would have helped the run, from overnight camping trips on the Plateau to steady running in the heat and then just hiking, working on the turnover. Not making any excuses - the things I wanted to do didn’t happen for a number of reasons. And then there were the races. Bears Ears 50 was a solid ass kicking - maybe the hardest 50 I’ve done. I did not bounce back after that like I’d anticipated when planning events. The hole was deep and instead pay attention I just kept digging. I should have listened to Nick when he told me to drop from the Grand Mesa 50 miler and do the 55k instead. That race was another ass kicking - not due to the course, but the conditions. There was no recovering from that race in two weeks, which I only discovered after the fact. I was both over trained and under trained at the same time when I started Tabeguache. Overstrained from the hard races and the overwhelming stress and then undertrained from struggling to recover from everything. That is the simple reality of the fact.

So there will be another attempt. This was just the dress rehearsal for 2023, taking all the things that we learned over the 75 miles covered. There’s always areas to refine, and I have plenty. From not doing two hard 50s to other training errors, this was a solid learning year. Next August though, I have a date with the Uncompaghe Plateau. The trail calls me, pulls at me. It’s driving my dreams and singing in my soul. And next time…

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